Okay so some of you may know that I found out a few months ago that I was pregnant. It was a pretty big surprise to us and the first few days were very stressful and emotional. I will sum up the stresses for you... I have no insurance right now, we are moving all of our stuff into storage which means we will be homeless when we get home this summer, oh and summer...we have no idea what we will be doing in the summer, or where for that matter. And then there is the problem of finding a doctor in Spain, being six months pregnant while backpacking around Europe...and the list goes on. So basically you can imagine why we would be a little stressed.
After the shock wore off I realized I was having a baby, something I've been looking forward to for years. As a matter of fact I have a huge stash of cute baby items I have been collecting over the years for my future children. Some may call that psycho, I call it prepared. As we started telling our family members, they too were nothing but excited and assured us that everything would work out despite our not so ideal timing. Thus starting the excitement and planning phase of this "roller coaster" of emotions.
Then about a week and a half ago I started noticing signs of a potential miscarriage. I wanted to see a doctor right away to see if my suspicions were right. Scott had to take a final and I wanted to get in asap so I went to the ultrasound alone, where the very nice nurse informed me that the baby did not have a heartbeat and that I did not have a viable pregnancy. Naturally we were very sad and disappointed to hear the news. I went through some pretty rough days but I really do know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family and everything works out how it is supposed to.
I debated sharing this story since so many of you did not even know that I was pregnant, but the other day I was looking at a friends blog where she was talking about her amazing dad (and I can attest that yes Lauren's dad is an awesome man). You are probably thinking, wait what...what does this have to do with the miscarriage story. Well when I read Lauren's post I could not help but think about my sweet dad and how amazing he had been to call and check up on me more than any other person had. Well that very day that I was thinking about him I got the most amazing "anonymous" letter in the mail from heaven and I just had to share....
"Letter From Heaven
Dear Mom and Dad,
Sorry for the quick departure. I feel bad that I've made many of you sad. However, the timing just wasn't right so I called back and asked God if he could arrange it so I could delay my arrival for awhile. He agreed to let me come back... so I am here on the bench, hanging out here in heaven. It's really pretty cool here.
I should be ready to join you when the time is right. God knows when that is and I really trust him. I hope you do too. He let me pick my future earthly parents and I chose you two. I know that you will be the best parents that a child could ever ask for. I'll be a good kid and I am sure that we will love each other a lot. Again... sorry that you are going through a few rough days. I'll make it up to you when I arrive next time.
OBTW (...see, I'm already practicing the text message thing... how old do I have to be to get a cell phone??? ... oh, we can talk about that later.) .... I took a quick peek at Grandma and Grandpa's. They are so cute... I can't wait to meet them in person and let them spoil me. I couldn't believe all the Christmas decorations. Grandma must really like the holiday season. How does Grandpa put up with it? He must really be patient. I can't wait to help re-arrange all of the decorations on the lower part of the tree. I hope that they are sturdy... because I might break a few.
Well... don't be too sad. I'll be back before you know it. Enjoy the time in Spain, and have a great holiday season.
Love...
Minnow... (that's what Grandpa will call me, cause I'll be a baby Fish ... he thinks he's so funny... I do too.)
P.S. I love you. See you soon."
So thanks Dad, I am one lucky girl to have you as my Dad!
